Contemplations on Purpose
Last month with the Sun moving through Aries as well as the North Node, Chiron and solar eclipse activating gate 51 in Aries, I began reflecting on the sphere of my Purpose, which is in Aries.
My Purpose (unconscious Earth) is in Gate 42, at 22 degrees Aries. This is my only activation in Aries, which is my 2nd House of money, finances, material possessions, values, self worth, and personal resources.
With the Nodes currently being in Aries and Libra, we’re collectively going through a calibration of the Aries-Libra axis. This axis highlights the dynamic interplay between individuality and partnership, self-assertion and cooperation, independence and compromise. It reflects the tension between the need for self-assertion and the desire for harmonious relationships.
With the North Node being in Aries and the South Node in Libra, excess Libra energy is being released and let go so we can expand and evolve more of the qualities of Aries. However, we might have some wounding around the qualities of Aries, with Chiron being there.
Even though we have moved out of eclipse season, we’ll have a final eclipse in Libra in six months and the Nodes will continue to be in Aries and Libra until January 28th 2025 when they will move into Pisces and Virgo.
To understand how this might be impacting you specifically, look at the house that Aries and Libra are in your chart and which placements (if any) you have there. The house will inform you on the area of life that is currently undergoing a recalibration through this Nodal axis.
Here’s a brief breakdown of the meaning of the 12 houses:
- 1st House: home of your rising sign, self-identity, physical appearance, physical health and vitality, approach to life, independence
- 2nd House: money, finances, material possessions, values, self worth, and personal resources
- 3rd House: communication, short distance travel, siblings
- 4th House: home, family, parental influence, tradition, emotional foundation, real-estate and property
- 5th House: creativity, sex, children, sports and competitive activities, pleasure, inner child
- 6th House: health, everyday life, work/ employment, habits, service, pets/ small animals, self-improvement
- 7th House: partnerships and marriage, commitments and contacts, legal matters, close allies
- 8th House: death, transformation, hidden truths, shared investments and inheritance, psychological depth
- 9th House: higher learning, long distance travel, philosophy and beliefs, teaching, exploration
- 10th House: career, reputation, public image, authority figures, social contribution, achievements
- 11th House: friendship, social circles, hopes and dreams, humanitarianism, innovation, community
- 12th House: subconscious mind, inner self, past lives, karma, hidden enemies, spirituality
This week, I want to share with you what has come up for me during this past Aries eclipse season and my contemplations on my sphere of Purpose in Gene Key 42.
Through working with the Gene Keys for the past 5 years, I have come to realize how many of the challenges that I experience in my life are really rooted in the shadow of my Purpose.
Gene Key 42 moves from the Shadow of Expectation to the Siddhi of Celebration through the Pathway (Gift) of Detachment.
With this being in my Purpose, expectation is what pulls me away from the present moment, prevents me from feeling calm and stable, and causes me to react to life instead of respond.
Expectation is about the dream that the future holds a better promise than the now. It can manifest as Grasping (repressive nature), which is the inability to let go and not wanting things to end, or Flaky (reactive nature), which is unable to fully complete anything in life.
Like all shadows, expectation is not the enemy.
What creates the grasping or flaky energy is our reaction to expectations and our reaction depends on how much trust we have in life.
This process is a spiraling of moving into deeper and deeper levels of trust and surrender.
When we identify with our expectations, we set ourselves up for disappointment.
The programming partner for the 42nd is the 32nd, which is my Radiance. The 32nd Shadow is Failure, which reinforces the 42nd shadow of Expectation.
I’ve realized that I create expectations for how I want things to turn out, because deep down, I am afraid of failure or even just the appearance of failure. This causes me to repeat the same cycles over and over again and do things just for the money- which are the shadows of my Evolution in 53 and Life’s Work in 54.
It all comes back to the expectations that I have. This is where my other shadows are rooted and what triggers the domino effect for the others to come to the surface in my life.
However, one of the main lessons that I’ve learned in my 5 years of working with the Gene Keys, is that trying to get rid of the shadow is never the goal or the point of this work. It also doesn’t work.
I’ve tried to get rid of Greed, Immaturity, Failure and Expectation, but all that does is pull me into the repressive side of these shadows. I end up spending all my energy trying to repress them instead of making room for the lessons they are here to teach me.
I’ve learned that I can’t get rid of my expectations, and maybe I don’t want to either. When I’ve tried to get rid of expectations, I became super serious about life. Seriousness is the 46th Shadow, which I have in my SQ.
Seriousness shows up when I don’t feel safe in my body and Expectation makes me feel out of place in my body. I become so worried that if I have any expectations that I will just end up disappointed, that I stop celebrating the gift that it is to be alive in this body right now.
This has had a direct impact on my 2nd and 8th houses, especially in regards to money.
Over the past year, I’ve recognized how I have prioritized others to the detriment of myself, especially financially. This feels very aligned with the calibration of the Aries-Libra axis in my chart in the 2nd and 8th house, which are both connected to money.
I’ve learned that expectations are not the enemy. Instead, it’s all about expanding my awareness to notice how tightly I am holding on to an expectation and when those expectations are narrowing my experience of life.
The Gift of Detachment is something that cannot be forced or faked. Attempts to force detachment simply create more attachment.
This is something that arises naturally out of a deep trust for life.
The 42nd Gift of Detachment is about the process of letting go of control over your life physically, emotionally, and mentally.
Instead of becoming a victim to your expectations, you've learned how to work with them.
Detachment is about learning to hold expectations without becoming identified with it and clinging to it. You can let go of your expectations quickly.
This gift blooms when you've learned how to surrender to life and fully accept where you are in the present moment.
As I prepare to move to Arizona this month, I recognize expectations arising. At first, I wanted to try and get rid of these expectations, but I quickly realized that wasn’t possible or even what was most supportive for me.
Instead, I am having fun witnessing and playing with the various expectations that arise.
Will things be different when I move? How will my life change? Will it change at all? Will I be disappointed?
The reality is that I cannot control the outcome. All I can do is follow my inner authority, which has led me to this point.
My deepest purpose in life, the reason I incarnated and what underpins everything that I do in life is Celebration.
The 42nd Siddhi of Celebration is about seeing the punchline of what it means to be human.
“The joke at the heart of all creation can only be experienced directly. It lives within the heart of every cell of your being. You are constantly in a state of dying- every cell within your body is dying from the moment it is created- so in essence you are not really alive at all- you are simply a passage through which matter is endlessly converted into energy…Celebration is the direct manifestation of awakening, rooted as it is in the utter helplessness of what is means to be alive and dying inside a human body.” -Richard Rudd, 42nd Gene Key
What is your deepest purpose?
How does the shadow of your Purpose create instability in your life? How can the gift help to strengthen your stability?
